Monday, May 31, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
I typed my thesis with this shit.
Today, this thing is still being used in some government offices and by your friendly neighborhood notary public.
When we open a bottle of alcohol like gin or rum, we pour some on the bottle cap and throw it away. It's for the spirits... and also for the people you used to drink with but are already dead.
My friend throws away his alcohol for all "the niggas in inacarceration."
[From the song Westside by TQ]
No they arent called WIKIPEDIA. They're called ENCYCLOPEDIA. Every home used to have volumes of them back in the day. It's where kids got info for term papers and shit like that.
Today, all you have to do is go to Google and of course, Wikipedia.
Ironically, here's the WIKIPEDIA definition of the dinosaur called the ENCYCLOPEDIA
An encyclopedia (also spelled encyclopaedia or encyclopædia) is a type of reference work, a compendium holding information from either all branches of knowledge or a particular branch of knowledge.
Encyclopedias are divided into articles. The articles in an encyclopedia are usually accessed alphabetically by article name (or sometimes by theme). Unlike dictionary entries which are about the often many linguistic, etymological and usage aspects of their entry's word or term, each encyclopedia article's subject is a single concept that is referred to by the article name.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
"To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn."
"When you care what is outside, what is inside cares for you."
"Learn to hide your strikes from your opponent and you'll more easily strike his hide."
"When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack."
"He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions."
"Do not go there, my son! When you doubt your powers, you give power to your doubts."
"We are number one! All others are number two, or lower."
The Sphinx is part of this group...
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
What does this chart say? It basically predicts the mood and behavior of surfers for a period of one week.
The darkest color [dark blue] means that there will be grumpy Manila surfers. They will be pissed off because they will be stuck in Manila again doing nothing. Some will even pray for waves using their Facebook status messages.
Now what if the color turns from dark blue to light whatever? It's at that exact moment when the surfer's mood suddenly lightens up too. You will see more smiles. And there will be more status messages about the ocean, the waves, and the surfspots they are going to hit.
As for an unsubcultured bodyboarder like me, I just use the chart of chance. Kung meron, eh di meron. Kung wala, inom at tambay nalang.
Gabriel: *You better get ready for a big surprise
you think its almost over but it's only the rise
mental message via visual contact
louder than any other sexual soundtrack
Chito: More margaritas for ny sweet se�orita
triple the tequila just to highten up the flava
chuggin' down on my J & B
while checkin out the parts o' my date's anatomy
like trinity flyin' high with the kicks and
controlling the game with my heavy duty joystick
Flip the tip and skip to the next trip
flashin' some cash in some rockstar bullshit
goin in for this club movin in for the killer
I got us a room in a fancy hotel room
we got everything we need
a big bag of money
a bigger bag o' wheat
and we try to impress out this thoughts to endress
stop the press we need to get this
I'd like to keep it going cause i gotta' go unknown
but it's Vinci's turn on the microphone so...
Vinci: Ahem! My name is Vinci and i am neat
i love pretty girls and i love to eat
I made this rap from my mind
and i am very very kind
i like to drive fast and fancy cars
and chicks dig me like chocolate bars
you say i'm bad but i am good so
shut up now and eat some food
Chito: tsong ano bang problema mo ayusin mo naman
lagyan mo naman ng tono para kang nangangatwiran
ano bang inaatupag mo sa bago mong apartment
sampung taon ka nang sikat wala ka ring 'bang talent
Vinci: tsong ano bang sinasabi mo?
mali ang sinasabi mo
magaling akong kumanta
alam mo ba yung picha pie
Chito: kung sa bagay mahusay nga naman yung picha pie
gamit ang boses mong pamatay nilagyan mo ng kulay
Vinci: diba kahit ikaw ang gumawa
alam natin mas okay nung ako yung kumanta
Chito: tsong naman please lang wag ka nang magyabang
at alam mo naman na pang back-up ka lang
at ilan na ba ang talagang nagawa mong kanta
Vinci: wala! eh ano ngayon?
Gabriel: Alam naman nating lahat na si Vinch naman talaga dapat
ang vocalist ng parokya band parokya ni edgar.
Chito: teka lang one minute pwede bang pakiulit
maaaring may lamang ka sa paligo subalit
bakit mo naman nasabi na ikaw ang nararapat
eh ni isang kanta man lang wala kang naisulat
Vinci: Eh ba't yung ibang singers naman
kahit 'di nila sinulat ang kinakanta nilang kanta
eh sobra kung sumikat
at ni Keno
at ni Benedict Aquino na
wala nga yatang mas sisikat pa kahit na sino
Chito: Ewan ko! Sandali!
Wag ka ngang makulit
kung ayaw mong masipa sa mukha nang malupit
Baka makatikim ka ng sarzuela de kamao
Na sin listo el de gato
sa gulpihang de con todo.
Vinci: Talaga? Hindi nga? Tatawa na ba ako?
Hindi porque't Koreano ka magaling kang mag-taekwondo
Wag kang mag-aangas sa lalaking may balbas
Kami yung mga tipo na hindi umaatras!
Dindin: Sandali lang
Wag muna kayong maglaban
bago kayo magsuntukan
Ba't 'di nyo muna pag-usapan
Ang 'di maunawaan
Peace na please
Ang bayad mo sa jeepney
kulang pa ng diyes
Kung ayaw mong mangyari ang nangyari sa iba
Matuto tayo kung paano magpakumbaba
Chito: Wag nating kalimutan kung saan nagsimula...
Gabriel: Alam naman nating lahat na
mahal namin ang isa't-isa
walang iwanan sa PAROKYA BAND sa
PAROKYA NI EDGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Members of PnE: Baaaannndddd... BBBBaaaaannnnnnnnnnndddddd!!!!
Chito: Uhhh.. 'Di ko na alam kung pa'no
tatapusin yung kanta kaya ganito na lang
Bigla na lang mawawala!..
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Her DVDs even cost more than your regular blockbuster Hollywood hit at the usual pirate enclaves like Makati Cinema Square. Bakit kaya? Google to find out more about her... uh...films.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Ang mga ginagawa ng tao sa opisina ay para din mga position sa basketball...
May POINT GUARD - pasa lang ng pasa ng trabaho at kung anu-anong info na di naman niya iniintindi
May CENTER - yung KSP ba. O feeling star. Akala nya sa kanya naka-sentro ang lahat ng bagay at kung wala siya, hindi gagalaw ang mundo.
May FORWARD - parang point guard din, forward lang ng forward ng email, di naman binabasa at iniintindi ang kanyang fino-forward.
Sila ang classic "it's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it."
The Malabanans: cleaning our shit ever since I can remember.
Tapos galit tayo sa mga monopoly at dynasty.
But I don't have the so called "gift of gab."
When I talk, I sometimes stutter, eat my words, forget what I want to say, run out of things to say etc.
Maybe I should kiss the Blarney Stone. The Blarney what?
When I was a kid, I read about the Blarney Stone in off all things, a Dennis the Menace comic book.
That's how I learned that when you kiss the Blarney Stone while upside down, you will receive the "Gift of Gab."
Here's what Wikipedia says:
The Blarney Stone (Irish: Cloch na Blarnan) is a block of bluestone built into the battlements of Blarney Castle, Blarney about 5 miles (8 km) from Cork, Ireland. According to legend, kissing the stone endows the kisser with the gift of gab (great eloquence or skill at flattery). The stone was set into a tower of the castle in 1446. The castle is a popular tourist site in Ireland, attracting visitors from all over the world to kiss the Stone and tour the castle and its gardens.
But you have to kiss the thing while upside down. Don't know why.
Anyway, If Gab had the gift of gab, maybe this blog wouldn't exist.
[I'd probably doing worthwhile things like picking up women left and right, doing stand up comedy, hustling people and stealing their hard-earned money, etc]
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Ain't 'fraid of no Ghosts [@ a company xmas party]
Cosa Nostra hit man chillin' at home [friend's gangster party]
Abu Sayyaf extremist [friend's bday party]
OFW chef [at a friend's despedida party]
Turista [departmental xmas party]
Finally, my painting costume
Virgo Character Traits
The symbol for Virgo is the sheaf of corn. You are hard-working and carry out your duties efficiently and conscientiously. [TRUE... on certain days. On other days I'm just spaced and just want to do nothing.]
'I ANALYSE' is the motto for Virgo. You have an eye for detail and a discriminating mind. You like order in all things and are neat, clean and precise in your habits. [WRONG. Damn, I think my mom lied to me about being born on September 19. Check out my room and my workdesk. It's like Hurricane Katrina dropped by.]
You are modest and don't like to draw attention to yourself. Where others seek the limelight, you get quietly on with the job, doing it as well as you can. You get a lot of satisfaction from making yourself useful and enjoy being of service to others. [Modesty aside, this is so muthafuckin me!!!]
Outwardly you are cool [I bet a million people will say this is not true], although inside you may be seething with nerves [Damn true]. You have a sensitive digestion and you're careful about what you eat and drink. [NOT TRUE. I can eat anything... except ampalaya, dogs and papaitan.]
You can also be overcritical and have a tendency to worry too much. [Damn. Bullseye.]
You are the perfectionists of the zodiac. [BULL CRAP]
HOROSCOPE FAIL. I PROBABLY WASN'T BORN ON THE DATE STATED ON MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE. GEEZ, WHAT IF A STORK JUST COUGHED ME UP?