world of high fashion sub cult

I thought models were just robots.

That is until one stupid movie afternoon
a few years ago I learned about the guy
who dropped magnum on all of us.

Yup, all I know about models and
the glamorous but dog-eat-dog world
of modeling, I learned from this guy...



MODELS HAVE SECRET PATENTED MOVES...
Billy Zane: When you gonna drop Magnum on us, buddy?
Derek Zoolander: Not yet. You gotta tame the beast before you let it out of its cage.

MODELS HAVE RIVALRIES...
Derek Zoolander: What say we settle this on the runway... Han-Solo?
Hansel: Are you challenging me to a walk-off... Boo-Lander?

MODELS FOLLOW RULES...
David Bowie: Now, this'll be a straight walk-off, old school rules. First model walks; second model duplicates, then elaborates. Okay, boys - let's go to work!

MODELS HAVE DREAMS...
Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.

MODELS ARE EMO...
Larry Zoolander: I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid.
Derek Zoolander: Mer-man!
[high-pitched cough]
Derek Zoolander: Mer-man!

MODELS VALUE BROTHERHOOD/CAMARADERIE...
Derek Zoolander: Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.

MODELS ARE SPIRITUAL...
Derek Zoolander: [looking at the sky] Who am I?
Derek Zoolander: [phone rings] God?

MODELS CAN BE SAD...
Derek Zoolander: If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.

MODELS CAN BE ANGRY...
Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?
Mugatu: Derek, this is just a small...
Derek Zoolander: I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!

MODELS CAN DESPAIR...
Derek Zoolander:I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

MODELS ARE KINDHEARTED...
Derek Zoolander: So join now, 'cause at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than just being really, really, really good looking. Right kids?