second hand car salesmen sub cult

[somehow I accidentally deleted my shit... so here it is again in its unoriginal, as I can remember it form...]

When people sell second hand cars, they usually advertise it with these:

--- 67, 000 kms
--- fresh in and out
--- lady driven
--- casa maintained
--- etc

IMHO, boring. If you really want to sell your car, you gotta go with these lines...

• Never used for fornication, front seat and back
• Never decorated with stupid, furry, stuffed animals
• Never decorated with stupid stickers like that yellow ribbon sticker in support of f'n Pnoy
• Never used in robbery [not even cradle robbing]
• No one has ever died here [except probably some flies]
• Never used to run down a person [but it may have crossed the owner's mind]
• Used as a "hotbox" so the good vibes will still linger
• Never parked in front of sleazy places like strip joints [okay, maybe a couple of times]
• Never used to pick up Quezon Avenue chicks
• Its music player never played Kpop, Lady Gaga songs or any other stupid pop songs
• Never used to hang out in gas station convenient stores
• Never equipped with big ugly spoilers, wheels and any other cheesy car accessory
• Was never involved in the stupid sport called drag racing

BEST OF ALL

• Goes on AUTOPILOT mode whenever the driver goes home drunk