Wednesday, January 25, 2012

second hand car salesmen sub cult

[somehow I accidentally deleted my shit... so here it is again in its unoriginal, as I can remember it form...]

When people sell second hand cars, they usually advertise it with these:

--- 67, 000 kms
--- fresh in and out
--- lady driven
--- casa maintained
--- etc

IMHO, boring. If you really want to sell your car, you gotta go with these lines...

  • Never used for fornication, front seat and back
  • Never decorated with stupid, furry, stuffed animals
  • Never decorated with stupid stickers like that yellow ribbon sticker in support of f'n Pnoy
  • Never used in robbery [not even cradle robbing]
  • No one has ever died here [except probably some flies]
  • Never used to run down a person [but it may have crossed the owner's mind]
  • Used as a "hotbox" so the good vibes will still linger
  • Never parked in front of sleazy places like strip joints [okay, maybe a couple of times]
  • Never used to pick up Quezon Avenue chicks
  • Its music player never played Kpop, Lady Gaga songs or any other stupid pop songs
  • Never used to hang out in gas station convenient stores
  • Never equipped with big ugly spoilers, wheels and any other cheesy car accessory
  • Was never involved in the stupid sport called drag racing

  • Goes on AUTOPILOT mode whenever the driver goes home drunk

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