north pole sub cult

Damn Christmas songs. We've been hearing them since September 1 kicked in. The geniuses in my building have been playing in the lobby and now, my office building feels like a mall... not Trinoma or SM, but Starmall and Ali effin Mall. I don't like Xmas songs in general because they are so wholesome and happy. But here are a few Xmas songs I like...

[1] 12 Days of Christmas by Bob & Doug McKenzie [I only hear it in NU107 so I guess I won't be hearing this anymore]



Okay, good day, this is
Our Christmas part of the album
And you can play this
At your Christmas parties, uh
Or to yourself on Christmas Eve
If there's nothing else to do

Good day, eh (yeah)
In case you thought, like
I wasn't on this part

Oh, I guarantee you, you'd be on
Okay, so, good day
This is the Christmas part
And, we're gonna tell you
What to get, uh
Your true love for Christmas

Look out the window

Where, what are you doing?

Snow, hosehead

Oh, it's the Great White North
And it's snowing, 'cause
It's Christmas time
Hey, hoser

What?

Here's a quiz, quiz for Doug

Okay, I have my thinking toque on

Yeah, right, what are
The twelve days of Christmas
'Cause, figure it out, right
Christmas is when

Uh, the 25th

Right, and what's the 24th
Christmas Eve, right
So, that's two (that's two)

And then, what's after that

Uh, Wrestling Day

No, get out

Boxing Day, yeah, yeah

That's three (I knew)
Then what's after that...nothing


(New Year's Eve) five (okay)
Where do you get twelve?

Uh, there's two Saturdays
And Sundays in there, that's four
That's nine and three other days
Which I believe are the mystery daysNew Year's (four) and what's

Okay now, this is our Christmas song
In case you don't know what
To get somebody for Christmas

There's lots of ideas in here
So listen and don't get stuck

By the way, that's me on the organ
(Aw, jeez) you start (okay)

On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me, a beer
On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Two turtlenecks and a beer

On the third day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Three French toast
Two turtlenecks and a beer

There should be more there
(Where) on the...go

Fourth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Four pounds of back bacon
Three French toast
Two turtlenecks and a beer
In a tree, see, you need more

On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Five golden toques
Four pounds of back bacon
Three French toast
Two turtlenecks and a beer
In a tree

Okay, on the sixth, you go
Christmas, my true love gave to me
Six packs of two-four
Five golden toques
Four pounds of back bacon
Three French toast
Two turtlenecks and a beer
In a tree, okay

On the seventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Seven packs of smokes (nice gift)
Oh, six packs of two-four
Five golden toques
Four pounds of back bacon
Three French toast
Two turtlenecks
And a beer in a tree

Right, I keep forgetting

Phew, this should just be
The two days of Christmas
It's too hard for us
(Um) go, hoser (oh)

On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Eight comic books
Seven packs of smokes
Six packs of two-four
Five golden toques
Four pounds of back bacon
Three French toast
Two turtlenecks
And a beer on my tree

Yeah, that beer's empty
Okay, day (twelve) twelve

Good day
And welcome to day twelve

Five golden toques
Four pounds of back bacon
Three French toast
Two turtlenecks
And a beer in a tree

Beauty, eh
Where'd you learn to do that
Uh, albums

Boy, so, like, that's our song
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
And good day
Good day, everybody

Happy New Year too

Okay, you know what you left out
(What) donuts
I told you to get me donuts

Either on the ninth day
Or the tenth day
Or the eleventh day
I wanted donuts

Okay, the song's over
But I want
Merry Christmas, everybody

Or on the twelfth day
You coulda got me a dozen donuts
So, go out to the stores
And get some presents.

You coulda gone down to
Like, the good donut shop
Where if you buy a dozen
You get another one free
And then thirteen for
The thirteen days of Christmas

Well, next Christmas
I'll get me a chainsaw
Take off

Boy, that song was a beauty
It moved me
Yeah, I think it ranks up there
With Stairway to Heaven (what?)

[2] Olops by Parokya ni Edgar

you know there's dasher and dancer,
prancer and vixen, comet and cupid,
and donder and blitzen...
but do you recall the least famous reindeer of all?

hey olops
ohhh olops

i have a little story
about a not-so-famous reindeer
he is rudolph's younger cousin
and they were born on that same year
his name is little olops
and he was jealous of his peer
it was always rudolph red-nose
and olops, the other deer

now olops hated rudolph,
'cause he hated rudolph's fame
and he started treating rudolph
like a low-down dirty shame
olops, the other reindeer,
used to laugh and call him names
and he never let poor rudolph
join in any reindeer games

and so rudolph said to olops,
"why're you treating me this way?"
olops smiled and answered rudolph,
"'cause i think you're freakin' gay!
and i hate your shiny nose,
and come the eve of christmas day
i'll make sure that you won't be there
to pull on santa's sleigh!"

but olops did not know
that santa heard all that he said
and this made santa angry,
and he bonked on olops' head
then santa pulled on olops' neck,
which filled olops with dread
rudolph waved goodbye,
then gave a smile,
and then he said "you're dead!"

no one's ever heard of,
or has seen olops again
but they say olops' head
hangs in a wall in santa's den
the moral of the story is:
always be a friend
you would not want to end up
like olops in the end

olops the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names
he never let poor rudolph
join in any reindeer games

[3] Yung vintage na baduy na kanta ni Vilma Santos na kinakanta niya yung "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus..."



[4] Do They Know it's Christmas by Band Aid



[5] not sure if this is a xmas song... Fruitcake by Eraserheads