UNSUBCULTURED version
HUCK - when no one cuts clearly to get a pass, you have no choice but to throw the disc as far as you can
FORCE HOME - after playing 2 or 3 games, you're so tired, you can't do anything else but force yourself to haul your ass to the car and go home
FOUL - it's what a "pwned" player calls when someone has made an awesome "D" on him
CLOGGING - after finishing all your games... you try to put everything in your mouth --- yosi, beer, water, softdrinks, food, etc
AIR BOUNCE - what happens to beer bellies when the legs they are attached to run like wild on the field
STACK - a merry mix up of 6 wannabe athletes who don't know what do and run in 6 different directions
HAMMER - when you drink too much, you will be the past tense of this
HANDLER - someone who thinks he knows what he's doing
LAYOUT - means relaxing on the sidelines with a beer while watching other teams kill themselves
PICK - the act of choosing who to defend... ex. un-athletic men usually choose the least athletic opponent... while a DOM will pick the hottest chick on the team
CUT - it's what you get when you fall to the ground a lot
DEEP - [1] an emo player... one who takes the game too seriously [2] a word that describes the shit you're in... ex: when you're down 10-0 with 2 minutes to go
MID - short for midlife crisis... these players are too old to play, but still think they can run with the young guns
BACKHAND - what you see when someone flashes you a dirty finger
STALL COUNT - the magic trick of trying to count to ten in 5 seconds
STRIP [added by sandy] - what sweaty male players do after a game that you wish the women also did
[Or how to survive the game we all love when you’re NOT young, fast and athletic]
The sport/game/cult of Ultimate is continually evolving in Manila. “Back in the day” it was played by a small group of expats and a few Pinoy weekend warriors who wanted to sweat and have ultimate fun on Sunday afternoons. Today, whether you like it or not, disc is more competitive – with more athletic types ruling the field. So how does a 36-year old keep up with 20-something legs in every pick up, hat tourney and league game? Read on.
ATTIRE
Of course we all know it’s wise to bring a light and dark shirt. This will keep you from going skins or shirtless - because no one wants to see a flabby tummy bouncing around when you run. It’s also wise to wear a bandana, a visor or a cap in case you are balding. And most important of all, never ever wear short shorts… unless your name is Danny and you play for Sunken Pleasure.
PREGAME
Come about 1-2 hours before start of pick up or a league game. That way you get a chance to throw, warm up, stretch and work up a bit of sweat. This is important because you may go for just 1 point and leave the rest of the afternoon to drinking beer and eating those damn cookies.
But if and when you play…
OFFENSE
Chances are, the person guarding you will be faster. So how do you outwit, outplay and outlast your defender? Simple, take him out of the play by taking yourself out. In other words, get out of the way. Let your faster teammates do the cutting and catching and just give everyone a high five when your team scores.
DEFENSE
Most likely, the person you are assigned to will be quicker than you. So when you get beat, run after him or her like hell. Only two things can happen anyway: [1] you can earn the ire of your teammates [#$^##&$*#, WHO’S ON THAT GUY/GIRL?] or [2] get a cheesy cheer like NICE TRY [now sit your butt down on the sidelines].
Also, when choosing a person to guard, always pick a guy extremely better than you. At least you have an excuse when he when he burns you.
POSTGAME
Two words. Ben Gay.
EPILOGUE
I’ve been burned by 20-somethings, 30-somethings and women a lot of times. I’ve lost count of how many times the person I am guarding has eluded me and scored. I’ve eaten so much pride while playing disc that I think I’m gaining weight. I have accepted the fact that there will always be someone faster, more talented than I am. But that doesn’t stop me from putting on my cleats any chance I get and try to hold my own against 20-something athletic legs. Hey, I’ve scored, cut and made great plays a lot of times too.
Years ago, I entered a magazine shop I NEVER VISITED BEFORE. I approached the saleslady in the counter. But before opening my mouth, she stopped me dead on my tracks. Sabi niya, "Boss, wala pang FHM.” HUWAW, paano niya nalaman I wanted FHM? Was she psychic? Or do I look like the stereotypical manyak FHM buyer?
Fast forward to years later. Ewanko kung high school o college. Rented a tape of the same movie, lit some funny sigs, then watched the movie.
